Ranting and Raving and Garbage

Ranting and raving are two words that usually accompany “lunatic” more often than not. But I am using them today to describe what my blogs are all too frequently in the vein of. And most definitely today’s blog is a full on “rant”. But isn’t that almost the point of a blog? To express one’s feelings? To put those feelings out there to the world (albeit the cyber-world) and hope they resonate with the people who choose to read them?

I would much rather spew forth a ranting blog on the topics that irk me in life instead of expelling any of those raving sentiments to people directly. And I always feel so much guilt when I do direct my feelings at someone personally, so blogging is honestly the better way to do it. Along with journalling and other expressions of creativity.

But I like feeling as though maybe, just maybe, there are others out there who “get it” and understand where I am coming from. Because the people who I have been up close and personal with in life have often completely let me down. Which is why most of them are no longer in my life and for that I am filled with a lot more peace these days.

However, despite the removal of most non-positive individuals from my life, I continue to deal with these same types of people and face a great lack of kindness shown to me as a single mum where I reside, in this pretty little coastal, rural B.C. spot. These types of people are getting easier for me to recognize though, and even easier to cast aside and move my mind forward with happier thoughts.

Today was no exception. This morning was garbage day. I struggled up my very steep driveway with an overly full can, as usual. And also as usual, my robust male neighbour was working in the bordering driveway and did not drop what he was doing to help me in my struggles or to even OFFER to help me. People just don’t do that any more it seems and it dismays me so much. It is a lesson I constantly point out to my own children to try and get them to see how wrong it is to not rush and help someone who needs it, and I try and lead by example, helping others whenever possible.

I tried to dismiss my thoughts of this lack of neighbourly kindness but they resurfaced shortly when there was a knock at my door. A man stood there and introduced himself as a neighbour from across the road. I had never met him before. He proceeded to inform me that some crows had attacked my garbage and it was now all over the road, dirty diapers, etc, with the smell blowing into his yard.

I apologized and said I would deal with it once I got the baby to sleep, in a couple of hours. He looked annoyed at this, and said he did not like the smell, the mess was unsightly and all over the road, and the crows would only keep at it. I explained to him, while moving my 40lb two year old to my other hip (holding a struggling baby while having a conversation is difficult but holding him was the only option unless I wanted to try and converse while chasing him all over the front garden!) that I did not have anyone to help me. I was on my own, other than my nearly 88 year old mum, who at present was not too well and was resting. I could not just leave the baby in the house while I went off to clean up garbage and it simply would have to wait.

He did not know what to say to this so instead began berating me for not having a lid on my can and noted how he often saw my garbage piled over the top of the can. I told him with three children, my cans always overflow. He suggested I use a second can. I countered his suggestion with the reality of not being able to afford the city rates to pay for a second can, and in order to have a second can, one must go to the town offices to buy the forms and when I am in town with all three children, I do not exactly want to try and find those offices and add that to my (usually) huge list of other tasks and errands I already have to undertake on my own, on foot.

He sort of shrugged and reiterated again that it really does need to be dealt with so I smiled sweetly and asked what I felt was the obvious thought from the start, “Would it be possible for you to help me? I would truly appreciate the extra kindness shown to me from a neighbour who can understand my circumstances and perhaps extend that helping hand to me, a single mum who does not have ANY help at all. My other neighbour does not even come and help me when he sees me struggling up the driveway with the loaded garbage, so it would really restore my faith in neighbourly kindness if you would help me out…”

He started to mumble “…well, what will you do next week?” And then he shifted back and forth on his feet and added it was not really his responsibility.

I kept smiling and just kept letting him know how much I would appreciate his help since I had NONE. And how so few people in this community even attempt to help me. Sure, this community gives to oodles of charities worldwide, but what about the helping hand between neighbours? What has happened to that?

I soapboxed to him until he finally grew weary of listening to me cause him to have some guilty feelings (as he rightly should!) and he turned to go, stating he would get it cleaned up for me. This time. I thanked him immensely and honestly do appreciate the help…it just shouldn’t be so difficult to get it.

We will be baking cookies later and leaving them on his doorstep with a thank you card. And I can only hope that my gesture of gratitude will perhaps help him understand how important and how appreciated his help was.

I hope when my children grow up, they will have learned from this experience that rather than going and telling a neighbour what a bird has done to their garbage, choose instead to take the initiative of grabbing a garbage bag and cleaning up the mess…just to be a kind and nice neighbour.