One of my big goals in life is to be a travel guide book writer. I have already put together one guide book, called Backpack Europe With Your Dog, which has yet to be published. Seeing it's appeal is really only for a very specific niche market, it may or may never be picked up by a publisher. And honestly, I have grown lazy in my pursuit of it. I chalk it up to having been a great idea but one that fell flat. Just another reason however to try and try again, whether with doggie backpacking or something else.
I have alot of ideas. Something will happen for me with this goal, I know it will.
Even reading guidebooks and dreaming about where I am going to go next or where I want to PLAN to go next is a thrill. The planning is half the fun for me, which is another reason I love the time and effort it takes to put together my own guidebook. Research is awesome!
One thing I cannot stand when I am reading a Lonely Planet, Rough Guide or whatever the book in question may be, is the restaurant section. They always list suggestions for every town and city, all different price ranges with full details of each place. But as an extensive traveller, I can say with full certainty that I have never used any of these listings when looking for someplace to eat! I can't be bothered! What a waste of time to go hunting through unfamiliar territory to find the exact restaurant or cafe that Lonely Planet just happened to suggest when there are plenty of places within the same price ranges you can easily find just by poking about on your own?
I have to wonder how many travellers actually use the restaurant listings? In my doggie guide I did list some places for eating but only because they were doggie-friendly, and this is a specific requirement my reader would have! Even still, I may eliminate those listings because again, who wants to hunt around for them, especially with your dog in tow? So much easier really to just find a place you think looks good and pop in and ask if your dog is welcome...many places don't even have a dog policy but when asked, they just look at your dog and decide on the spot...he looks quiet and friendly so sure, he can come on in.
Overall, when I am my own guidebook entrepreneur I am definately not including a restaurant listing section!
one day where we will live
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Nice questions
Is it too hard to expect the important people in your life to just be NICE? Is this too high of an expectation to put onto other people? What is wrong with wanting to surround yourself with kind words, cheerfulness and a calm, happy demeanor about 90% of the time?
I can be this way myself no problem. I am a sunny, happy person. But when there are other people in my world who do not behave in this way, no matter how much of an example is set for them, then what is the solution?
Will my children be unable to learn the nice factor from me if it is always countered by negative, angry vibes from the other people they love? Or is it good for children to see both sides of life; the nice and the not as nice, so they can know which way is the better way to be?
Do I accept the less than sunny dispositions of the others or do I take my babies and walk away from that?
I just do not know. And I have asked myself this question for a very long time now.
A choice is looming. It has to be.
I can be this way myself no problem. I am a sunny, happy person. But when there are other people in my world who do not behave in this way, no matter how much of an example is set for them, then what is the solution?
Will my children be unable to learn the nice factor from me if it is always countered by negative, angry vibes from the other people they love? Or is it good for children to see both sides of life; the nice and the not as nice, so they can know which way is the better way to be?
Do I accept the less than sunny dispositions of the others or do I take my babies and walk away from that?
I just do not know. And I have asked myself this question for a very long time now.
A choice is looming. It has to be.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Ballet mothers!
My 4 year old son has been in preschool ballet for the school year. He is the only boy in a class of 8 sweet little tu-tu'ed girls. He loves to dance, sing, and perform in all ways possible...much like myself. So I thought I would try him in dance to see if he enjoyed it and not surprisingly, he loves it.
I take him to the dance studio once a week, leave him to have fun, and I go off to run some errands with the baby. When I pick him up he is happy and glowing. The interaction I have with the other mothers is minimal and casual, as one would expect. We don't see each other often or for very long so there is not really time to say much beyond the odd comment.
Usually when we arrive and everyone is waiting for the class to start, my son chases all the little girls around, pretending to be a dinosaur or some other prehistoric monster and they squeal and shriek with delight. If I ask him to slow down or stop for a breath, one girl or another will inevitably creep back up to him, egging him on to chase them again. They are precious and he adores them all. As they do him.
The mothers however, are a different story altogether. These are ballet mothers.
It has only been recently that I really could see them for what they are. With this being final rehearsal week and then the big performance weekend for the entire dance school, we began spending alot more time together. And I soon found out what exactly a ballet mother was all about.
It soon became apparant that running, screaming and shrieking in delighted PLAY was completely frowned upon by these mothers. They did not smile as their daughters tried to hide and run from the dinosaur boy. They did not say "awww" when he would catch one and hug them or tickle them. No, but what they did say alot was, "Stop it!" "Settle down!" "No running!" "No screaming!" "This is not the place for that!" "If you don't stop it, you can't dance today!"
I felt so sorry for these sweet little girls who just wanted to have fun! Yet because the movement of active children racing about, and the "noise" of their excited playing bothered these mothers, they put a stop to it. Whatever happened to putting your own discomfort aside so your children can have a good time? I also felt these stiff mothers were trying to uphold a behaviour standard or image amongst each other. Even my casual comments of, "oh they are having so much fun!" or "aren't they cute, noisy ha ha, but that's kids, right?" were not responded to in kind. I felt like a lone outcast with an unruly child, or so their icy stares proclaimed him silently.
Once dress rehearsals and performance time came, it got even worse. In the dressing room, my boy wanted to make forts under the tables, chase, and run and still have fun...basically just be a boy....be a kid! I continued to receive cold shoulder treatment, hostile looks and some mothers even went so far as to snarl at me, "Can you keep him away from her? She doesn't like that!" Hmm, that's funny, I would think, since when mother was not looking, the little ballerina who "doesn't like that" was wrestling with him and teasing him into another game of chase! I would just sigh and kindly speak to my boy once again and ask him to please not touch anyone, not poke, pinch or tickle and especially don't touch anyone's hair! All the mothers had spent ages hairspraying and pinning up their little ballerinas hair into perfectly coiffed and tight buns, so they practically had heart attacks when this little boy just looking to have fun would run by and try and poke one of these buns! Isn't that what boys do though? And I noticed many a girl smile or start to giggle at this before their mother noticed. But in the mothers' eyes, the only problem in the room was my boy and he was destroying their daughters' perfect poise.
Give me a break! I had seen all of these girls stripped of that poise that the mothers insisted upon and play with him as children should! Dance is supposed to be a fun activity, not a restrained and restricted one!
I was even given a "talking to" from one extra fierce mother who said there had been numerous complaints about my boy and he had to stop this behaviour right away as he was frightening and hurting many of the girls! I apologized and demurely said I would do my best to see he did not hurt anyone. This was so ridiculous because I always watched him like a hawk (unlike the other mothers who were too busy chatting or gossiping to watch their children closely!) and I knew for sure that any so-called "hurting" was merely the same rough play they had always engaged in.
To be fair, there were a couple of mothers who did lighten up during the course of the show weekend, and spoke a little more friendly to me. One mother even told me she did not like this dance school and was hoping not to bring her daughter back in the Fall. Well, I liked the school alot....the teachers are warm and caring and they make it fun for the children. It is the level of unfriendliness and severity given out from the mothers that spoil it so much.
I am sure these mothers would behave this way with their children in whatever event or sport or public outing they were in....tense, terse and restrained. I see that all the time and always know it is the problem of the parent, not of the child. The child just wants to be a kid....but the parent refuses to allow them their natural enthusiasm or energy to burst forth in any kind of public setting or social gathering. These are the parents' own fears and issues that their child might stand out or be viewed as less than conforming to "proper behaviour" but honestly, if it is not hurting anyone else, then why be so restrictive? Children love to shriek and scream but because adults don't do that and other adults might not like it, these enforcements are placed on the children. And not just from vocal noise but from any large physical movements too. As these children grow, they lose their natural exuberance and become a "stiffer" person than maybe they would have been, had they not been held back from exhibiting their energy and zest for life so much.
But then again, maybe that is exactly what these ballet mothers want from their daughters....stiff little carbon copies of themselves.
I take him to the dance studio once a week, leave him to have fun, and I go off to run some errands with the baby. When I pick him up he is happy and glowing. The interaction I have with the other mothers is minimal and casual, as one would expect. We don't see each other often or for very long so there is not really time to say much beyond the odd comment.
Usually when we arrive and everyone is waiting for the class to start, my son chases all the little girls around, pretending to be a dinosaur or some other prehistoric monster and they squeal and shriek with delight. If I ask him to slow down or stop for a breath, one girl or another will inevitably creep back up to him, egging him on to chase them again. They are precious and he adores them all. As they do him.
The mothers however, are a different story altogether. These are ballet mothers.
It has only been recently that I really could see them for what they are. With this being final rehearsal week and then the big performance weekend for the entire dance school, we began spending alot more time together. And I soon found out what exactly a ballet mother was all about.
It soon became apparant that running, screaming and shrieking in delighted PLAY was completely frowned upon by these mothers. They did not smile as their daughters tried to hide and run from the dinosaur boy. They did not say "awww" when he would catch one and hug them or tickle them. No, but what they did say alot was, "Stop it!" "Settle down!" "No running!" "No screaming!" "This is not the place for that!" "If you don't stop it, you can't dance today!"
I felt so sorry for these sweet little girls who just wanted to have fun! Yet because the movement of active children racing about, and the "noise" of their excited playing bothered these mothers, they put a stop to it. Whatever happened to putting your own discomfort aside so your children can have a good time? I also felt these stiff mothers were trying to uphold a behaviour standard or image amongst each other. Even my casual comments of, "oh they are having so much fun!" or "aren't they cute, noisy ha ha, but that's kids, right?" were not responded to in kind. I felt like a lone outcast with an unruly child, or so their icy stares proclaimed him silently.
Once dress rehearsals and performance time came, it got even worse. In the dressing room, my boy wanted to make forts under the tables, chase, and run and still have fun...basically just be a boy....be a kid! I continued to receive cold shoulder treatment, hostile looks and some mothers even went so far as to snarl at me, "Can you keep him away from her? She doesn't like that!" Hmm, that's funny, I would think, since when mother was not looking, the little ballerina who "doesn't like that" was wrestling with him and teasing him into another game of chase! I would just sigh and kindly speak to my boy once again and ask him to please not touch anyone, not poke, pinch or tickle and especially don't touch anyone's hair! All the mothers had spent ages hairspraying and pinning up their little ballerinas hair into perfectly coiffed and tight buns, so they practically had heart attacks when this little boy just looking to have fun would run by and try and poke one of these buns! Isn't that what boys do though? And I noticed many a girl smile or start to giggle at this before their mother noticed. But in the mothers' eyes, the only problem in the room was my boy and he was destroying their daughters' perfect poise.
Give me a break! I had seen all of these girls stripped of that poise that the mothers insisted upon and play with him as children should! Dance is supposed to be a fun activity, not a restrained and restricted one!
I was even given a "talking to" from one extra fierce mother who said there had been numerous complaints about my boy and he had to stop this behaviour right away as he was frightening and hurting many of the girls! I apologized and demurely said I would do my best to see he did not hurt anyone. This was so ridiculous because I always watched him like a hawk (unlike the other mothers who were too busy chatting or gossiping to watch their children closely!) and I knew for sure that any so-called "hurting" was merely the same rough play they had always engaged in.
To be fair, there were a couple of mothers who did lighten up during the course of the show weekend, and spoke a little more friendly to me. One mother even told me she did not like this dance school and was hoping not to bring her daughter back in the Fall. Well, I liked the school alot....the teachers are warm and caring and they make it fun for the children. It is the level of unfriendliness and severity given out from the mothers that spoil it so much.
I am sure these mothers would behave this way with their children in whatever event or sport or public outing they were in....tense, terse and restrained. I see that all the time and always know it is the problem of the parent, not of the child. The child just wants to be a kid....but the parent refuses to allow them their natural enthusiasm or energy to burst forth in any kind of public setting or social gathering. These are the parents' own fears and issues that their child might stand out or be viewed as less than conforming to "proper behaviour" but honestly, if it is not hurting anyone else, then why be so restrictive? Children love to shriek and scream but because adults don't do that and other adults might not like it, these enforcements are placed on the children. And not just from vocal noise but from any large physical movements too. As these children grow, they lose their natural exuberance and become a "stiffer" person than maybe they would have been, had they not been held back from exhibiting their energy and zest for life so much.
But then again, maybe that is exactly what these ballet mothers want from their daughters....stiff little carbon copies of themselves.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Moving from myspace
I first began blogging over at myspace. It was a fun place to hang out and begin airing my thoughts, sharing my pics and checking out all the new music and array of fansites. But then along came facebook and my time at myspace started to fade. There is no place really to blog on facebook and I also am not the most comfortable with every old friend out there knowing my personal thoughts and feelings, along with whatever intimate details of my life that I care to share.
However, I still like the forum of a blog and I like to have a place to emote and share my feelings, anonymously or otherwise. But besides being sent off to the anonymous realms of cyber-space, I just may be a little choosy as to who I share them with.
However, I still like the forum of a blog and I like to have a place to emote and share my feelings, anonymously or otherwise. But besides being sent off to the anonymous realms of cyber-space, I just may be a little choosy as to who I share them with.
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