Homeschooling vs. Public School and those labels du jour...

When pondering over the decision surrounding my son’s future with our local school last Fall, we were fairly new to homeschooling and I stated then, that I felt homeschooling did not provide enough stimulation for him.

Oh how wrong I was….and how happy I am to have been so wrong!

I’m not a teacher…not by a long shot. But I am a devoted and loving mother, filled with endless patience…the patience that many teachers seem to lack these days.

I have found ample social activities for him outside of the home in art classes, swimming, horseback riding and he soon will be joining an astronomy program too. He interacts well with others (much better than when thrown in with the mixed bunch of rude children at the school!) and does not need or want many hours per day of outside socializing. He is far more content to be social within our home, where HOME is the number one mentor and guiding factor in his life. Home is the nucleus of a child’s life and through homeschooling he is developing a far greater appreciation for home and family. I believe child socialization is overrated in today’s world and the emphasis should be more on the home and family, whether homeschooling or not.

Parents are so busy working and getting their kids “socialized” in an array of daycares and sports teams and other activities, that their lives become overly busy and full with everything BUT the home and family these days! Most people I have met through the school systems have been two-parent working families, claiming they NEEDED to both work and there was no other way. Oh, please. See my blog rant on this from 2009...scroll back. It is not NEED, it is want. The WANT to be on par with the status quo and the WANT to make sure one parent does not have to do more or less than the other parent in the outside workforce. I have met so many mothers who lamented how their husbands would not be pleased or supportive if they didn’t get out there and back to work asap once the baby was at least a year old! These men have such a chip on their shoulders about having to do all the work, that they would rather browbeat their wives to get out there to work and make them feel guilty if they don’t! Staying home and raising children is the MOST important work there is! But very few people see it that way any longer.

One of my biggest problems with the school system in Canada is the need they have to LABEL children who don’t follow the status quo. Currently, the public school system in Canada is set up to enable parents to attach a label to their child for afflictions in any aspect of learning or social skills, thus allowing the school and classroom to be provided with a special helper for the child. Sure, this does give the child more one on one help, but at what cost to the child’s inner psyche? What message does that send to the child and their peers?

The “autism spectrum” has been so overused and made sooo popular these days that I would guess that at least one in three kids has been labelled autistic or had it suggested…and adult autism is being used to explain tons of issues in society too! This is not psychology…this is grasping at straws!

Many parents are eager to embrace labels because it provides them an “answer” to their confusion over their child being somehow “abnormal” and standing out from others in any way, shape or form. It has become a trend and a bandwagon.

For example, if a child has trouble pronouncing words and is behind with this skill, as laid out by the so-called “experts”, tons of parents now eagerly get their child into speech therapy and get help as quickly as possible, rather than just let it be. They don’t want to take their own time to constantly correct their child or spend the extra time needed going over words and sounds…not when a label means “professional help” and the problem gets to be recognized as medically “out of their control” and someone else can clean up the mess. To me, this is laziness at it’s finest. And also has an element of the parent wanting to “fit in” themselves…be part of the “diagnosis club”. Barf.

Parents justify themselves by stating they are doing right by their child by fixing the problem before it gets any worse, but how do they know it would even progress? Why make a mountain out of a molehill?

And how about the children who DARE to defy a teacher? The ones who don’t want to easily participate or fall in line? The ones who balk and sulk? I was one of those, ha ha. Boy, would I have been labelled back then if that system had been in place! Kids had better not do that too many times or look out, the label of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) will be awarded to them! Anything to explain behaviour that is non-status quo. Parents and schools alike are excited and happy to have these labels for the extra help it provides and the “whew” factor to explain and rationalize the non-conformist behaviour.

And let’s not forget the popular-in-the-90’s term of ADD (attention deficit disorder) which gets chucked at any kids who can’t seem to pay attention or don’t conform well to the learning system of a classroom!

People just seem to overlook the fact that every child is an individual and has a range of varied characteristics. Just because one type of child does not fit society’s status quo does not mean there is something wrong with them! Yet, it makes it easier for the parents and teachers so it is welcomed and nurtured instead of trying to nurture the children themselves.

I also realize how desperately underfunded the education system currently is. So why is the government not making education a higher priority? Why is it ok to accept these labels for our children and see that as normal when it is anything but normal! Yet like sheep, these parents follow along with this thinking and take all the labels suggested to them.

The government could pay teachers more instead of all the funding afforded to the TA’s and other such named special helpers. There is so much money being poured into the testing of kids, and the labelling, the special help and care, that the education system suffers.

Well, they can keep it. I tried it and I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want my children to have any part of it, I want better for them. I want them free to express themselves, free to ask questions, free from stereotypes, free from bullying (which far too many parents seem to think is ok to a degree so kids can learn how to sort out their own social problems and issues between them! Such BULL!), free from labels and free from intolerance.

My son is currently at the grade two level. I am not following any type of rigid learning plan or curriculum but I am definitely maintaining his learning. We work at HIS speed and HIS pace and if I have to sit and guide him through every single letter on a page of ten sentences and if it takes many hours to complete, filled with bribes, promises and constant encouragement, then I see it through, however long it takes. The only way to have a child attended that closely and thoroughly in public schools is to have that assessment and slap on that label. Teachers will only truly teach those who follow the status quo. Anyone who stands out, for any reason, and needs that extra help, is NOT the problem of the teacher. I guess they figure they aren’t paid enough for that. And maybe they should be. Maybe the current election should address that and confront these issues head on.

Until that day comes though and the system either changes or we move to another country and find a school that works for us, we are thriving and happy homeschoolers.