Looking After Me

This week I got braces on my teeth. The most common thing I hear now is, “Your teeth look fine, why did you get them?” Well, sure, by many standards my teeth were “fine”. But not to me. I have always been able to see the issues: slight overbite, some teeth near the front are slanting inwards (a problem which has been growing worse every year past the age of 40!), my bottom teeth are crookedly all over the place and always have been. 

I don’t need to get veneers or caps to have a giant, uber-white Hollywood smile. No, that is not my aim at all. This is just part of the process of looking after me. Finding myself again post-divorce, and as I glide along in my 40’s, focusing on my confidence and aging gracefully, with as many subtle tweaks possible to become the best me I can be. The me that makes ME happy and retain my sparkle.

I am always working hard on my inner growth, which is an endless process that just gets better and better as I listen and learn. But I also strive to take care of the outer growth too.

Some people in my life have labelled me vain and far too into myself but thankfully I don’t share that opinion. Yes, I am really into my appearance but I like to feel it is a healthy level of vanity. I don’t need to wear make up every day or do anything special with my hair, especially if I am doing something which involves putting my children first.

However, it is a very good example for the children to see me have pride in my appearance and even if I’m not always dressed up or preened to glamorous standards, it is still important for the children to realize you need to be clean and tidy and well-presented daily. Even on “in the house PJ days”, the routine of teeth, hair and getting washed up, are essential elements to adhere to and I have always been most strict about it.

Looking good goes hand in hand with feeling good though. Inner happiness is essential and I started the journey to find it long before I researched bigger projects like braces. Taking care of my skin and my hair is important to me too. Many people ask me what it is that I do or what products I use and I am happy to share. 

I have used organic products for over 10 years now and feel it has made a huge difference. I get my hair coloured every 6 weeks (because when it comes to hair, the vanity wins out over having any greys!!) and as well as organic shampoo and conditioner (currently into the Milkshake line), I also use Argan oil daily and some gorgeous leave-in conditioning treatments. I only wash and condition every 3 days because my hair is really long and I don’t like to overdo it. It feels best on day 2. 

As for my skin, well on my face currently I am loving the new all-natural Cornish Skin Food, made locally from fresh ingredients which blow the roof off my former organic skin care line Eminence.  My skin loves these products and I often let the masks harden on my face while doing housework or other chores. The moisturizers are divine lushness and leave my face baby soft. At night I always coat my face in organic, extra virgin coconut oil with extra on my neck, to keep it firm.  If I am in the sun on a day when I haven’t got any make-up on, I brush on a mineral powder with 30SPF by Eminence.  And I always have a tube of lipstick, gloss or just lip balm with me at all times! For the rest of my skin, I just use coconut oil all over, with extra attention paid to my hands and feet. Age shows on our hands and feet even when we are cleverly hiding it on our faces.

When I entered my 40’s I began to notice lines on my face for the first time that I did not approve of. Character lines around my eyes are fine, but I draw the line (haha!) at anything on my face that causes sagging or droopiness. Like grey hairs, this is not ok for me and I discovered how to deal with these issues at a wonderful clinic with a doctor in charge. When it comes to administering needles, I will settle for nothing less than a doctor. I do not think anyone other than a medically trained individual should be permitted to do these procedures. Some people recoil in horror at the very sound of botox or fillers but the reality is that these things are as needed and as useful as hair dye or contact lenses, to those of us who want them.

But where is the limit? Where does personal vanity stop and self-improvement begin? I think this varies for everyone. None of us should judge each other for the choices we make for ourselves.

I have always said I would never do anything in the name of vanity that involved cutting or carving myself or using general anesthesia. But that’s MY personal limit. Other people will go there and that’s ok for them. Everyone knows what their own personal limit of self-improvement is. Some people don’t do anything at all and just flow along with nature. Which is also great. For them. But this is what is right for ME.